We shall visit a time I like to call "the other day"...(For you time-sticklers, that was last Thursday).
The house had been cleaned, and all of the bad smells banished (for now). Or so I thought...
Now that everything else was smelling so lovely, something distinctly odiferous caught my attention. Five minutes later, Stinky Dog had an appointment with De-Stinkying Lady at Petsmart.
I must say, I love our trips to Petsmart! It's not just the fact that I will return home without Stinky Dog, but Petsmart has the wonderful distinction of serving as a FREE zoo! Where else can you go to see such a wide assortment of scurrying, swimming, and fluttering little critters for no cost? (Besides a book, smartie pants!).
At Petsmart, Ian gets plopped into a cart immediately. It's enough work for a Pregnant Mommy to drag a very stubborn 50+ pound Stinky Dog to grooming section (conveniently located at the very back of the store), without having a very stubborn 25+ pound Determined Toddler pulling a different way towards the fish.
When we get to the grooming section (did I mention it's at the very back of the store...and my arm hurts), Stinky Dog turns into Stinky Freaked Out Dog. She's only been here once before, but has an excellent memory. She begins doing her best imitation of dog-running-on-a-treadmill (without the treadmill) on the slick floor. Determined Toddler turns into Terrible Two Toddler and continues to become louder demanding to see fish.
FINALLY, the leash is taken and now Stinky Nervous Breakdown Dog is being scraped across the floor to the kennels to await her torture. She is a crazed maniacal sight, pulling backwards, thrashing her head around, and overall acting like she's facing imminent death.
I will interrupt this story to point out that Ian really loves his dog. He demonstrates this love on a regular basis by jumping on her, pulling her tail, taking her food away, and occassionally attempting to poke her eyes out when labeling body parts. His only redeeming quality in her eyes is that he is a messy eater and always drops food on the floor for her to clean up. That was, until this moment.
Back to our narrative...Ian's care and concern for his beloved dog stops his demands for fish in mid-yell and creates a new tantrum of epic proportions. Terrible Two Toddler now transforms into THAT Toddler and screams, "No go! Sera! Sera! Back! Back!" while trying to claw his way out of the cart. The demonstration is quite convincing...his face was even streaming with tears. Don't ask me how, but he managed to grab the leash and attempted to help On the Brink of Heart Attack Dog escape her fate.
I have to admit, I am touched that Ian senses the dog's emotional state of distress, and I do feel bad that Sera is so traumatized by the groomer...but forgive me for laughing hysterically. Ian has now added to his worth in the dog's eyes I'm sure. I must now watch all of their interactions closely, as I am sure they are plotting against me.
We left the grooming area with Ian still carrying on about Sera. It didn't take very long for him to calm down though. It is a scientific fact that watching fish lowers your blood pressure, you know. :)
It takes anywhere from 2-3 hours for the process that leads to Clean Dog, and we don't hang out at the FREE zoo for all that time. After all, since it's free, no need to worry about getting our money's worth!
There are more errands to be run, and Ian does not cease to remind me every once in a while that we are indeed going back to get Sera. "Sera back. Want back. Want Sera home."
I wish I could write of a wonderful reunion of Joyous Toddler and Clean Dog once we finally did pick her up. But, Determined Toddlers being what they are, he merely looked her way and turned back to me saying, "All done. Fish."
Thank goodness for Lollipop Ladies at checkouts. We waved goodbye to all of the animals at the "zoo" and headed back to our own little circus.
Ringmaster Mommy over and out. :)