In Search of the Perfect Name (Part One)

Matt and I have agreed at the moment (albeit the former party, reluctantly) to keep the gender of this baby a surprise. After all, we have a boy AND a girl, both born the same season...which means, plenty of clothing and accessories for this little one, no matter the gender. My point is that we have found out mid-pregnancy twice, why not have a surprise at the birth this time? (Among other reasons, anyway). I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear! Just think, it's a surprise anyway...just one you'll have to wait for a bit longer! Oh, and we're waiting too. It's no fair squandering away such precious knowledge!

In the meantime, we still get to have fun with names! Oh, and we get to have the most interesting discussions about names! The history, popularity, meaning, and silliness of all that is wrapped up into a name is quite an elaborate topic! The perceptions of Matt and I are definitely worthy of conversation, and it gets even more provocative when involving other people. There is a lot involved in considering the perfect name.

I've heard this process referred to as "name shopping," and I really do understand why it's gained this label. It really is comparable to how Matt and I shop! While I prefer to compare and ever-expand the possibilities before settling on a final choice, Matt likes to proceed directly to the first item(s) that fit the bill. However, he'll follow me around the store sportingly, and remind me that in the end he will be right, and I'll go back to one of the original options. He is often exactly correct, but sometimes the research turns up something more suitable. If nothing else, I find the hunt entertaining! And there just might be something better out there...even though it might take some time to find it.

Timing...oh yes, that factors into naming too! I very much understand why some cultures wait to name their babies. Besides the obvious factor that not everyone has the ability to know the gender before birth, what if little baby boy just does not look like a Robert, or an Edward? Would it hurt to observe this little person before bestowing such a powerful source of identity?

God has known us from the very beginning...even in my belly, he knows this child (Psalm 139)! He must know their name too! Maybe for every parent, we "stumble" on the right name at a different time because of unseen leading? Or He just knows what our parents will call us?

We'll be ready with a list no doubt, but this time, much less attached to the name. After all, we haven't had 5 months to choose, fall in love with, and repeatedly call the little one inside by one name! We can sound out the possibilities and have fun with nicknames. One day "little bean" might be Sloane. Or maybe "kickypants" might turn out to be Coleman. I don't think he or she will mind what happens in the meantime, will they? Perhaps our prepared list of options will drift out the window when we hold the baby for the first time!

Do you think a child by any other name still becomes the same person? Would Ian still be the same boy if his name was Langley, Mason, or Pierce? Would dear Zoe be as obsessed with shoes if she were indeed Eliana, Gertrude, or Jordan? I wonder...especially because the name could change!

What if later on, they just don't like their name, or want to change it to suit a new identity or purpose? Modern day artists have changed their names. Think about Norma Jean Baker, Leonard Slyle, Annie Mae Bullock, and Caryn Johnson. (Trivia time!) Their parents surely thought they had found the perfect name, and it played out differently...why stress it so much?

I do believe the name in the present does indeed matter, even if it might change. And, I won't worry too much about those potential changes down the road. A name embodies you...at that moment! So yes, we'll mull it over a bit. A name is a meaningful thing in the present tense!

My mind drifts to Biblical examples when thinking about meaning. At a life-altering crossroad, Abram (exalted father) became Abraham (father of a multitude). After wrestling the angel, Jacob (supplanter) became Israel (having power with God). God says he will give a new name on the day of redemption to those that overcome (Rev. 2:17). Clearly a name is a powerful thing, God has taken interest in it!

My own name I believe reflects me rather well by definition. Julie means youthful. I think that is one great way of describing me! It is also cited as "downy-bearded youth"...and since I don't have a beard (and hopefully never will), I have attributed this to my Dad. He was in his youth when he had me, at least spiritually and psychologically. Marie has origins mainly reflecting "sea of sorrow" or "sea of bitterness." Although not a bitter person, I do have inner workings that reflect this trait deeply.

Matthew means "insufferable sarcastic mess." Oh wait, no it doesn't. (We should definitely change his name). Actually, it means "gift of God." And although it certainly could apply to many people, of course it applies to him.

But what if your name really doesn't mean anything at all related to you? The answer to that one is simple. Regardless of a name, the person who owns it defines the meaning as they live. But, I still can't wrap my head around naming a girl Cecily...because it means "blind." I could stretch it to say that she would be "blind to trouble," or just skip it. Yeah, skip. The meaning of the name (even though it will embody something entirely unique with the individual) is a big factor!

Finally, who else has this name? Maybe there are 10,000 other Julies in the world and 1 million Matthews. But only one of each of us. I happen to know only one other Julie personally, and don't run into others very often. Matt? Um, he's been referred to as "Gayler" a lot, and it's not just because of the military. You have to make some distinction between all the Matthews. Did it matter very much how popular our names were?

We're on the same quest as all the other parents out there (at least most I guess?). Our child needs a name that's just popular enough not to sound ridiculous in our family and circle of friends, but still rare and extraordinary. It may not matter how many children have ever had the name, but it matters that it sounds just unique enough to be theirs alone. At least until they happen to run into another little Quinn.

I hope you've enjoyed reading my little ramble, and I'd love to hear your thoughts. What do you think about your own name and how it defines you? Would you change it? If you have children, did any of these things cross your mind? How did you sort out meaning and the power of names?

What makes naming a baby so complicated? There is certainly almost too much to consider at once. And, probably not everyone even thinks about it! There's nothing wrong with scanning down a list for something that sounds pretty or looks "cool" or even flipping a coin! Somehow, your name is you. And it becomes you when you get it. And you become your name! So amazing!

I'll end the night rubbing my tummy and becoming lost in thought of all the possibilities. For me this process is less about us choosing the right name and more about discovering the perfect name he or she already owns. :)

Are you bored and want to learn the meaning of your name or other statistics about it? My favorite site for almost everything there is to wonder about names...Baby Name Wizard. You can even see how popular names are by state. Fascinating!