Gayler Family Updates: Parenting Test: Choosing the "Right" Answers

As parents, we always have lots of choices to make in a day. Sometimes, I find myself thinking of all the options (even the ones that really aren't options at all) in an effort to pass what feels like some kind of elaborate test.

Yes, I just compared being a parent to taking a test! I know someone out there can relate! But, it's not always obvious you chose the right answer when your child continues to tantrum, or make bad choices themselves. (Choosing the right answer sometimes lands you with a less-than-desirable reward!).

But, as the Bible instructs parents, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6). I feel like one point this verse reinforces is the fact that sometimes it's not until much later in life that our parent's influences and teachings come full circle. So, you don't always get an immediate reward for "good" parenting...that's one aspect that makes it challenging!

Anyway, today really felt like a testing day. No summer vacation from parental school, you know. It really began last night, as Ian had a slight fever. In the morning I was faced with my first question of the day.

What do you do when your child stays up all night long, runs a slight fever, but has no other symptoms?

A) Ignore it. (Who says doing nothing isn't an option!?).

B) Freak out and call the doctor. (Hahaha! Good one!).

C) Go back to bed. (Wow! This test is funny!).

D) Cancel the day's activities and stay home as a precaution. (Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!).

So let's hear what I won!

I won a peaceful morning watching Ian recover from his ailment!

I felt good about my choice as I was watching Ian laze about on the bed, requesting a bottle of all things. It was very obvious he needed peace and quiet to recover.

Then, enter the time known as...too late to have a snack, too early to have dinner, and just the right time to act like a crazy child!! Dun, dun, dunnnnnnnn!

Zoe began running around screaming. Not happy screaming, but I-want-everything-I can't-have screaming. Finally, she popped her thumb in her mouth and decided it wasn't working to get what she wanted. About this time, Ian had been gradually working himself into a frenzy over his toys. He was frustrated they wouldn't do exactly what he wanted them to do. Every other piece of laundry I was folding, I would stop and work through his impatience with him.

Changing from a silent vigil, Zoe found a new way to get attention. She picked toys up from the ground and proceeded to beat Ian over the head every 3rd piece of laundry. Now, I am a very patient person, but this little routine didn't take very long to reach my last nerve. Oh wonderful, another question on the test!

Your baby is trying to beat her older brother senseless. What do you do?

A) Ignore it. (This is always an option!).

B) Make a huge, big deal out of it! (Haha! Oh yeah, this one works well...).

C) Put her in time out. (We haven't had much success with this one either!).

D) Remove her from the situation and demonstrate kind touches. (Ding! Ding! Ding!)

Let's see what I've won this time!

A ticket to a repeat performance?! What!?

I pulled Zoe into the bedroom and said, "Do NOT hit your brother. We touch our brother NICELY. Gentle touches, ok? Like this. Nice, nice." Zoe looked intently into my eyes and said, "Uh-uh (no). Ouch!" If you were thinking she might have been agreeing with me, and this was the equivalent of, "No hitting, it hurts," you are gravely mistaken. She walked directly to the living room, picked up a BIGGER toy and rapped Ian over the head, looking my direction. "Ouch!" she said, dropped the toy and ran away.

Now, Ian crumpled to the floor holding his head screaming. (Good thing for him, the toy wasn't even a hard toy. Ian is very sensitive to people's intents).

When he was calm, the toy he was playing with became a beyond-frustrating and emotionally traumatic event. Oh dear, another question so soon?

Your child seems incapable of playing with this toy at this moment. What do you do?

A) Ignore it. (You knew this was coming!)

B) Fast-forward time. (Sometimes, questions have really obvious wrong answers!).

C) Work through frustrations with him. (This answer was the wrong one five minutes ago).

D) Remove the problem. (Ding! Ding! Ding!)

What did I win this time?! Can't wait! This one is going to be great!

I won TWO meltdowns! Oh no!!

Of course, I couldn't remove the child...so there goes the toy. I lifted it up and carried it into the storage room, dragging a meltdown with me. Wait, make that two meltdowns. Zoe likes to be JUST LIKE her brother, remember? He tripped over another toy and fell, walked into the wall, and in a final outburst of drama, hit the door jam of the storage room with a resounding THUD. Zoe gingerly lowered herself to the floor and started fake-screaming.

Of course, as I write this, I'm nearly dying laughing inside. It's amazingly funny. But, remember, I was on my last nerve at this moment!

And this test is feeling more like a speed drill!

What do you do when your kids are beyond consolable and can't play with you or by themselves, and you're close to a meltdown yourself?

A) Ignore it. (Sigh! This test is annoying!)

B) Scream back and throw myself on the floor. (Does "time out" come next? I could go for this!)

C) Kick them out. (Who says you need to wait 18 years? Well, the state of South Carolina for one...).

D) Squirt them with water. (Children are like puppies, right? I might be on to something here...the light bulb is flickering).

E) Both C & D. (Ding! Ding! Ding?).

So, as I heave a sigh, I hope this time I won something good...it seemed too good to be true.

I did! Jackpot! I won an amazingly fun time outside with my two wonderful children!

Becoming exasperated and thinking a crazy thought led to a wonderful idea. (Don't judge me for thinking these things, I love my children to pieces, and would NEVER EVER hurt them! Some of my "thinking" has been exaggerated for humor!). I scooped them up, we all put on our swimsuits, and had a blast with the hose. It's oddly therapeutic to spray your children with a garden hose!