What is Permanent?

When it comes to our words and feelings, what is permanent?

I had to think about this today. (You'll see why). I love my kids. More than words or pictures could ever sum up. But, I'm still human.

So sometimes, I feel like my words are sort of like a reminder of how I feel.

Other times, my words are something I feel like I have to do as part of a list, or a task at hand.

Then there are the times that those words feel subject to change on my whim. Feelings are feelings, after all…they do come and go.

But what if there was a permanent marker for my heart, and I always felt the same way, no matter what happened?

That's what having a child made me ponder today. Permanent markers...err, permanence.

Come here, you little permanent marker covered imp! Time out!

First, I pondered what on earth you thought you were doing. Were you drawing me a path or something?

Were you marking a spot on the couch to sit together? Or were you agreeing with the conversation Mommy and Daddy were having about one day getting a new neutral couch?

(Remind me not to discuss a new camera or computer for a while.)

It really doesn't matter what she was doing, of course. She had a consequence the same as any other time…no worse just because it happened to be a permanent marker. (Which is where I surprised myself. When I look at pictures of stuff other kids ruined, I thought I would lose it if that was my child! SERIOUSLY! WHERE are their parents!??!).

My next thought was how very, very angry I was at her for ruining the couch. I didn't like her very much. WHY my child? But, oh always that urging of my call...to CHOOSE happiness, and to CHOOSE love. I do love, you, Zoe....even when you color on my couch.

Soooo...why didn't I beat the child? First, the real issue is where she should be coloring. Would I beat her for coloring on the table or walls? No. Secondly, it's hard to beat someone when you're focused on how much you love them. And finally, I want her to know that no matter how permanent her actions may seem, there's still love. I thank God for that love in my heart. Times like this I guess show how much I am changing as I grow in this journey of motherhood.

Because really, nothing is actually permanent except change, right?

Oh, and this.

Customized cross graphic from http://www.christian-graphics.net/

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:38-39

(Or permanent marker!).

I love you, Zoe, more than you'll ever know. But that pales in comparison to the permanence of the future, and Christ's love for you.

On a less serious note, permanent marker is not as permanent as you think. If you were wondering why you smelled something wintergreeny fresh while sitting on my couch…

I have Anna to thank for this. She boldly battles stains like no other person I've ever met. Also, I have Google to thank. If you want to see how to get permanent marker out of a couch, click HERE.

Maybe one day I'll explain to Zoe the difference between washable markers and permanent markers. I may even pull out this post, and have a really deep and meaningful conversation with her about things that stay and things that never change. But today, we're just going to work on coloring on paper, not couches. :)

P.S. I have no idea where she got the marker. Attribute it to moving and misplaced items.

P.P.S. The green stuff is wintergreen "flavor" rubbing alcohol...which I also have no idea from whence it came, but it sure did work wonders!