I will pull this car over RIGHT NOW.
Because I SAID SO!
Don't make me come over there.
(And a bunch of other things that I know are completely ineffective, yet somehow manage to slip out anyway).
But truly, you'll NEVER believe what comes out of your mouth as a parent.
Zoe, spit out that apple sticker. You don't eat the stickers on fruit!
Ian, take the pretzel out of your ear. (But I'm eating it, Mom). You do NOT have teeth in your ear! (Oh).
(Yucky. Trash!). Zoe, dirty clothes go in the laundry room, not the trash.
Ian, that is a nice baby doll, please make it be nice to people. (The baby is making bad choices, Mom). Then for goodness sake, put it in time out and stop hitting Zoe over the head with it! (But you are the Mommy).
We have to print the coloring sheet off the computer before you can color it, Zoe...put the pencil down away from the computer monitor.
Zoe, eat your yogurt. (I paint). No, EAT. (No, PAINT!). EAT. Yum, yum! (PAINT. Painty, painty!).
WHO put the pennies in the van DVD player?!
Ian! Zoe! Stop licking the dog!
Get your foot out of the potty, Zoe.
And, what made me think of writing this post...tonight, I overhear Matt saying in the bathroom:
Zoe, don't dunk your cookie in the bath water and eat it!!
Never say never...just say a bunch of other things you never thought you'd say! :)
2 comments:
Yes, I can totally relate. I have heard myself say, "STOP licking the dog!" and I thought... "I just never thought that combination of words would come out of my mouth in one sentence..."
You people make me laugh. I love the doll making bad choices. Totally almost choked on my pizza from laughing. I was sure that Hadley's first sentence would be "No, Moose, don't lick the baby" after the number of times I said it. Didn't expect to say "Hadley, don't lick Moose back!" LOL.
Just today I had a hilarious conversation with Afton (at least, I thought so). She woke up and said "Bobs?" (Her request to nurse.) I said "Hug?" "Bobs?" "Hug?" This went on for some time and evolved into me putting my arms out each time and Afton tapping my chest each time. I eventually gave up hope for my morning hug. Later she walked up to me and said "hug?" but as soon as I hugged her, she smiled and tapped my chest and said "bob?" with a smirk. Smart kid.
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